The B-Side of My Mind

  I think everyone who has ever been in love can relate to this video. Everyone knows the first 3 months of a relationship is the honeymoon period. After that, comes the real deal -- Lovey dovey stuffs decreases, real habits of each partners will reveal. Things that used to be cute will seem annoying to you. At first they have all the time in the world for you. You are at the top of their priority list. But now, it seems like they dont even have time for you.  When you raise the question of "Why can't things be the same as it was in the beginning of our relationship?" people will always say that it is just how relationships are. If things arent the same anymore, where did they decided to change? and why? they got tired? or fed up? questions.. questions...

I feel kind of mellow today, been listening to some Regines. I just love the sound of guitar pluckings combined with a good voice like hers. Since sharing is caring.. here it is. Enjoy. I can tell it's gonna be Another night alone And I don't have the energy To go out on my own When you go, I just want to hide I'll keep goin' , Im locked up here inside But I will never give up, I'll never give up, I'll never believe that love just fades away. I'll never give up, never give up I'll never give up. In the middle of the night I wanna reach for you I'm so uneasy when you go i don't know what to do It's so hard, just to go til then I'm not happy til i'm home safe and sound Dadadada... I'll never believe that love just fades away. I'll never give up, I'll never, never give up That love just fades awaay.. I'll never believe that love just fades away. I'll never give up Never believe that love just fades away.

On the way back from my cousin's engagement party just now, the question "why cant that happen to me" keeps on asking in my head. I come to realize that im always the girl who "could've-been-the-one" in a relationship. Im always the 2nd choice and never the 1st - it makes me feel like im never good enough and sometimes i believe i am not good enough for anyone or even myself. Dont get me wrong, i wish all the guys who picked the other girl instead of me all the happiness in the world since some of them have gotten married with kids now. We all still remain good friends and when i see them i cant help to think that that couldve been me. It's easy for people to say "dont worry your time will come.. just be patient" I mean it's easy to say for them because it isnt them who is going through the heartaches over and over again. It's sickening, plus it has lowered my self-esteem over time and it caused me to be depressed. The hardest thing t...