The B-Side of My Mind

for my own wellbeing, i am going to close the chapter of my life which has been very dear to me. i should have done it long ago but i just cant. to be honest, if i dont do it now im afraid i'll get sick. the last thing that i want for myself is to be depressed. i can only do, feel and think so much alone on a two-way street. i love him, yes. but i wont allow myself to be treated this way. i feel pity for my ownself. i need to distance myself, find myself back and try to find happiness within myself again. this depression can't go on. i love you, goodbye.

This weekend i will be going to Merlion City! Yes! Singapore!! I'm so happy i can be somewhere else for a change this weekend :) Since this is my first time to go to Singaore, I have prepared a list of places to go to. The list i got it from some travelling forum on the internet. The list. Anyhoo, on Monday (28th Feb) i will be having an appointment with a dermatologist at the hospital. I am kind of worried for what the verdict will be but at the same time, i am happy that i finally took action on this 'thing' i'm having. Sorry guys, i won't be revealing what 'thing' i'm having just yet :D I'll talk about it post-appointment hehehe.

The picture above was taken before going for my work out on thursday. I decided to put that picture up because it has been awhile since i put up a picture of mine LOL. Anyways, today is Saturday and i am suppose to be at church but im not. Why? because i didnt feel that good this morning. I think it was because of the tom yam i ate for lunch yesterday. It was already hot but i added more chilli to it (i love spicy, hot foods) and now im suffering the consequences of it. But it was worth it hehehe... I'll just enjoy my Sabbath at home today. Happy Sabbath you all! ..and have a great weekend! ♥ P.

Its always been a mystery to me, How two hearts can come together, And love can last forever. But now that I have found you I believe, That a miracle has come when God sends the perfect one. So gone are all my questions about why, And i've never been so sure of anything in my life Oh I wonder what God was thinking,when he created you. I wonder if He knew everything I would need, Because he made all my dreams come true. When God made you, He must have been thinking about me. I promise that wherever you may go, wherever life may lead you, With all my heart I'll be there too. And from this moment on I want you to know, I'll let nothing come between us, and I will love the ones you love. So gone are all my questions about why Oh I wonder what God was thinking when he created you, I wonder if He knew everythin I would need, Because He made all my dreams come true. When God made you He must've been thinking about me. He made the sun He made the moon, To harmonize a perfect tu...

I'm on leave for a week and will be back in the office next week. I should be happy right? isn't this what i want? yea.. but minus all the physical pain im suffering right now. *sigh* ive got a big blister near my right thumb, i accidently sliced my middle finger (left hand) just now and it just wont stop bleeding. Its been like, 5 hours and im getting a bit worried. I might bleed to death! (ok, maybe im a bit exagerrating here but its all because im worried) *sigh* Oh and i think ive sprained my left shoulder :( i am in so much pain right now i need someone to kiss the pain away.. uiseh heheh. :P It's kinda hard for me to blog in this condition, im taking a short hiatus until my hands are healed. Til we meet again in the blogosphere.. tata! ♥ P.

I'm at work and it's the time of the month again. yes, im talking about the RED SPILL . If having your private part bleeding is not enough, imagine having stomach cramps and diarrhea all at the same time. This is what im painfully experiencing right now. Nasty, i tell you. --------------------------------------------------------------- Oh, guess what? I've started a food diary today. A food diary is basically a diary that you write down whatever food that you take in so that you can keep track on what you're consuming for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and also thee snacks that you take in between meals. But you can't cheat! So basically you have to list down EVERYTHING you've eaten the whole day everyday. I really want to lose some pounds by May. Why? because im going on a vacation in June. Yeayyy!!! I dont want to look like someone who just came back from a vacation when i havent even gone for my vacation. -------------------------------------------------------...

Kotobian Tadau Tagazo do Kaamatan! the picture above was taken at my house at Kota Marudu.. just before leaving to my cousin's place for Kaamatan family gathering on the 25th of May. I found my brother's sunglasses inside the car and posed for the camera in my gangsta look hahaha I actually dont really celebrate kaamatan.. i would care less about kaamatan although i do have kadazandusun blood running through my veins. But this year, i did celebrate it at Goshen, Kota Marudu. Kaamatan came 5 days earlier in my case. It was kind of fun getting to wear the traditional costume since i rarely wear it and playing the gongs ( mengagung ) and all. FYI, i know how to play 5 out of 6 of the gongs hehehe. some of my relatives at Goshen were surprise to know that i know how to mengagung and i was surprised too because all these while i thought everyone there knows how to mengagung They asked me where did i learned to play five out of six, i said from all the weddings i attended in the ...

Today i didnt went to the doctor! ahahaha. I was so scared last night about my condition, as soon as my brother went online i buzzed him and told him my story. See, my brother is an aspired doctor..he's finishing this June so he should know these stuffs. After telling him my story, he asked me a bunch of question and at one point i asked him back "Cancer ka ni?" (Is it cancer?) and he said "tidaklah.. buli tau ba kalu cancer" (No..we can know if its cancer") After an hour or so of 'free-consultation' i was a bit relieved. Ok, you guys must be wondering what am i sick of. Well, according to my soon-to-be-doctor brother, i had an allergy outbreak :-D I wont be spilling any details on how sick i was all because of a hair tonic ive been using because i find it so unpleasant. Actually, i DID went to see the doctor but not for me lah . Dad told me to keep my grandma company at the clinic. I was surprise to see the doctor. I mean, he's so young! i t...

I'll be going to the doctor first thing in the morning, tomorrow and Im tagging my Dad along..because im scared. I know i'm a big girl already but deep down inside im still his little girl :-D Im not going to say what kind of illness that i have because i myself dont know whats wrong. Im scared to hear what the doctor have to say after examining me but at the same time i'm dying to know the truth.